Tag Archives: freedom

Relationship Limbo

Relationship Limbo

So you have a ship and you’re steering it together with somebody else. A rather important somebody else. For you, cuz (s)he’s making your stomach seem like a butterfly factory. The sea is calm and you sail away into the sunset. You wake up to share the sunrises over a cup of coffee. You laugh, you cry, you shout, you play, you splash, you toss, you turn, you love. And it’s great for a while. It seems like you have never felt like this before in your lifetime.

So you hold on to it and put in it all your energy, love and passion. You make it work. The ship is sailing on wavy waters, but you don’t worry about setting a direction because freedom is your fix. You can’t live without it and the idea that you found somebody who feels the same way is hard to grasp. It’s the first time you spend so much time with another person. Feeling her/his every breath, every move, every blink and letting yourself felt by her/him.

As you are having the time of your life, clouds crowd up in the sky. You don’t know how to swim, but (s)he promised since (s)he first put eyes on you that in case of stormy waters (s)he will save you. The ship starts shaking, but you’re not scared. You have your love who will protect and watch over you. (S)He says that (s)he will go up the flagpole to untie the veils so you can go faster through the storm and reach the clear waters at once.

But you can’t swim?! What if a wave comes and sweeps you off the deck? You receive a pat on the back and a hug that everything will be ok. (S)He’s up and you’re down. (S)He can see the clear waters from the top of the flagpole and decides to stay there until the end of the storm. You are sliding on the deck trying to hold on to the helm while counting your blessings. Up is hope, laughter and high. Down is despair, crying for help and pitch black.

Somewhere in between your tears and shouts you stop to think why doesn’t (s)he get down to check on you, as (s)he promised? Is it really that interesting up there? More important than you and the promise made? The storm is about to finish. The skies are clearing out. You lie on the deck exhausted. A rainbow appears on the horizon, but your eyes are wide shut. All you can see is the wet timber of the deck. The raindrops start trembling on the deck as (s)he gets down from the flagpole and comes towards you.

Wasn’t it the best storm of your life? (s)he says in exaltation.

I trusted you and you left me here all alone surrounded by water, you whisper.

I told you I had to untie the veils. I did it for us, so we could go faster through the storm and enjoy the rainbow, (s)he justified.

You did it for yourself. I saw no rainbow. All I saw was me scared shitless, waiting for you on the deck. You don’t deserve my trust. It’s clear to me that you like storms much than you like or love me, you replied in disappointment.

Fine, if that’s how you see things, I’m off… And so (s)he was into the sunset.

You lifted yourself from the wooden floor and didn’t even feel the urge to stop her/him, so you waved good-bye. At last you could smell the freshness in the air. And look at that rainbow!